1. A man falls in love with you because he knows he can be himself around you.
2. He falls in love with you because he feels SAFE expressing his innermost, private feelings with you.
3. He knows that you can handle your feelings. He can sense that. And because he senses that at the
most unconscious level, he starts to long for your company, for your touch, for your affection. He
may not even know why he feels this way.
4. All he knows is that there’s something special about you that he doesn’t feel with any other
woman in his life. He wants to take you in his arms and keep you forever.
This is what happens to a man… UNLESS he stops doing this suddenly…like one day out of the blue..poof.
It’s rare either you or he will know exactly WHY he feels mesmerized by you and wants to get close to you and pursue you for something serious and long-lasting.
Many of us are wrong about why a man falls in love. I think we all learn by trial and error. I hate
to say it..but its true..we learn. No-one is perfect so why do we live up to this expectation of being perfect or trying to be perfect around the very ones we love so much? if only they knew. Love is patient, love is kind and love is always willing to wait. So ladies, if he doesn’t want to wait for you – he doesn’t love you..simple. If he does wait to hold out to see if it works..then its a 50/50 – ask the audience, phone a friend situation..or trawl the internet..damn. If he says he loves you – then watch HIS ACTIONS v closely..cos people can tell you anything you want to hear…
A lot of the time, we think a man needs sex, or has to have a fabulously gorgeous woman with a great body.
We think a man falls for us because we’re sweet to him, and kind, and giving. ESPECIALLY giving.
So we do things for him. We cook lovely meals and offer deep, thoughtful advice on whatever
troubles him. We light candles whenever he comes over. We put on our sexiest clothes and buy lacy
We become exclusive with him without even a passing thought to what WE want, or whether or not he has met our needs yet for a secure, loving and committed relationship.
We give our bodies, our souls, our minds to him. And STILL he tells us that he’s not sure how he feels. Or he becomes distant and moody. Or he stops calling or asking us out as often as he used to EVEN THOUGH you feel he completes you in some way.
Or maybe he does something very hurtful, or cheats on us, or tells us that he doesn’t believe you’re
“meant” to be together. And yet because you STILL like the guy – you keep giving him chances and beating yourself up over HIS bad behaviour towards you. Chances are you have fallen in love with him BUT he is not sure he is in love with you.
This happens because deep down, you didn’t trigger love in his HEART. You didn’t connect on the deepest, most intimate level … his feelings. YOU may have tried. But somehow it still didn’t happen so you are left feeling frustrrated, down and annoyed.
SO–How do you connect with a man’s feelings?
I’ll tell you briefly what DOESN’T connect to him cos that I do know!
When you tell a man about what you think about the relationship, or what you did that day, or what
you think of the latest news you’ve read or the gossip at work, he listens. He participates in the
BUT his feelings aren’t triggered.
And so chatter on about your life, over-discuss, over-talk but leave out the one part that would
drop you suddenly into intimacy.
EMOTIONS. You don’t seem to know much about his as he will not tell you..he will not open up and that is because he is STILL not sure he can do so with you. However, you share everything but who you are. And why is that? Cos you don’t want to be hurt..maybe you have been hurt before…you just don’t know. ALL you do know is that you are simply protecting yourself.
You know if you take that risk you could end up back at square one..with a feeling that it is going
nowhere. Because you refuse to see that.. cos its NOT what you want..you end up NOT going there at all. Not talking to him about what you want emotionally…and why cos it could scare him…and you don’t want to do that.
So then, you put up these walls with him without even knowing WHY you’re doing it. You decide not to tell him the sorrow you felt that morning about something cos after all he already told you he is tired, not interested etc so why bother – it will just annoy him. You then omit admitting how the spring air made you feel alive and free when you went for a walk at lunchtime. Because he may have told you before he
doesn’t really want to know cos he is tired, has other stuff on his mind..whatever the case may be. Perhaps he thinks that YOU will give him grief..when in fact you are just merely listening to him, supporting him and being yourself..nice.
Or…you actually don’t even pay attention to your own emotions. You’re too busy with your own to-do
lists and tasks and with the chatter of everyone else around you in your life. You worry a lot. You don’t mean to. Yet you make plans in your head for the next moment, the next day, or the weekend.
But if you were to allow yourself to FEEL what you’re feeling, and then speak from those feelings, you would make him feel safe and connected to you. YET you try as best you can, but somehow..somehow he doesn’t get it. So you stop because you care about what he thinks about you too much.
It seems like such a simple thing. But for so many of us, it’s such a counter-intuitive thing. It’s
difficult. We’re not used to being juicy, sexy, FEELING creatures.
So many of us are programmed to be DOING, THINKING, MANAGING, WORRYING.
And these are the qualities that make a man feel nothing around you. These are the qualities that
make him think of you more like a “friend” than his lover. But you don’t want to be his friend. Maybe you want him just to be like the man he was in the beginning if only he would get it.
When you become a feminine, juicy, sensual FEELING creature, you become a “siren” around a man. Sometimes without even knowing! You magnetize naturally all sorts of men YET its not what you want. You just want him, right?
You magnetize him simply by being what you were always meant to be…an alluring woman who is soft
on the outside, but strong and resilient on the inside. SO girls, keep standing up for yourself – just be
careful how you go about doing it. Its so easy for a man to flip out and then think you whinge too much or whatever. What you deem as a simple communication to him can be totally miscontrued by him…he may even think you are just a pain cos he will think you are complaining about him EVEN THOUGH
you may be trying to show to him that you actually admire him. SO stay calm, cool and collected ALWAYS…EVEN IF..things get ugly..that way you are showing him..that you are strong and
that you are in control of your own feelings..even if you do not feel it.
Here is one more example, I have for you..and I hope it makes you feel a bit better. Time management courses tell you to think outside the box in order to better manage your time. But I guess if you want
him to actually fall in love with you..you can not make him..as hard as it is, you live in the hope that he will come around to your way of thinking but you can never be totally sure, cos you can never know what is going on in another person’s mind..its JUST an ongoing process..but having said that, you still must think outside the box. If things go bad..take a step back..relax, review and just know that you can get through anything..mind over matter.
We get so caught up worrying about the small things..when in fact we should just focus on problems if there are any, deal with it..and avoid mud slinging at all costs. Its so easy to end up firing hurtful
comments at each other especially if..we have been rubbed up the wrong way..anyway take care of yourself..and remember a man who loves you..will always love you for YOU..he will accept YOU
for who YOU are…and won’t expect a thing from you apart from UNCONDITIONAL love..
Here is another weird example, if you have a pet cat, have you ever noticed the cat looking up at you innocently…wanting you to take care of them..and you look back at the cat..adoring the fact that THEY need you..and that YOU are in a way responsible for them..so you fall in love with it..as you know that they will never hurt you with words, they will never break your heart cos they need you..and you look at the man like that little cat..and he may fall in love with you for needing him in some way (but not being too needy of course.) Time gives us the answers to any problems we face. So do not dwell in your past..stay in the present..keep happy..and do what YOU want to do..its so easy to forget yourself when you want a man to love you, isn’t it? and if he doesn’t want you for who you are..why fight for it. SIMPLY back off..cos if he is into you..he will go the extra mile to let you know. Have faith.