10 Signs – how to know when a man doesn’t love you anymore

14 Sep

It’s been a while since I have written a relationship article..so here goes…B

broken heart

If you have not been feeling loved lately, and your man’s behaviour has changed towards you lately, making you think that may be he does not love you anymore. If you are losing sleep over how your man is behaving then you need to read the ten signs below that show that he is no longer in love with you:

1. He has stopped calling you the endearing names he once called you – sweetie, honey, darling, baby, boo, etc.

2. He complains when you try to be affectionate to him. If you are sitting on the coach and you try to massage his neck or back, he tells you to stop because he is uncomfortable, or just wants you to give him some elbow room.

3. He tells you mean things that hurt your feeling in the name of trying to tell you the truth. For example, he will tell you that you are overweight and that you should try to lose weight.

4. He flirts with other girls right in your presence, and when you complain he tells you to do something about it if you don’t like how he is behaving.

5. He no longer tells you about how his day went. He does not talk to you as much as he used to in the past.

6. He goes out with his friends on weekends and never bothers to invite you.

7. He suddenly starts calling you another woman’s name – probably the woman he is now involved with – and does not apologize to you.

8. He stays out late and does not bother to explain to you where he has gone and why his coming home late.

9. He gets very angry when you accuse him of having an affair. He gets very defensive and starts shouting at you.

10. He never seems to understand why you are complaining that his behaviour toward you has changed.

If your man is acting like he no longer loves you and you have noticed that his behaviour towards you has drastically changed, chances are that he may be falling out of love with you. And if that is the case, don’t try to get him to do what he does not want to do – like staying in a relationship with. If you have told him that you don’t like the way he is treating you and he does not appear to be interested in changing his ways, then your man probably wants to move on. If that is what he wants, let him move on so that you can make room for a man that will derive joy in fulfilling your heart’s romantic desires.

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187 Responses to “10 Signs – how to know when a man doesn’t love you anymore”

  1. Shanks 02/09/2012 at 11:36 am #

    Cisco, Baker and I have had a long,loving relationship and loved each other oh so affectionately. There are hugh bumps in the road called CADET and we are determined to go on with our lives. If this disrepect continues, I’m afraid that it will be a situation quite unbearable for her and him. I am deterimined to make it with him. Just remembering it is his and my call and no one elses. I do love him so and no other woman is gonna come between us. I won’t let it happen. “Being steadfast and continuing in blessings and honor’ Cisco and Shanks forever, till death due us part.

    • justbarbara 26/09/2012 at 11:19 am #

      Bumps in the road are normal. Living with imperfections that we find along the way are all part and parcel of a relationship. I read a great article the other day – it asked a man here in Ireland what was his trick to keeping his 25 year marriage alive? he said he never fell out of love with his wife – that is why they were still going strong to this day…so I think the trick is really to never allow your relationship to fall out of love with each other and if either of you fall out of love with each other then either make it stronger or break up…and as for the other woman if he goes to her he had already fallen out of love and just didn’t have the courage to say! as he feared your reaction..I don’t see the point of fighting for a man when its the man’s job to fight for YOUR love ;)

  2. Summer 02/09/2012 at 7:39 pm #

    Hi JustBarbara,

    This is exactly what is happening to me except that ‘he is cheating part’.
    We met each other during travel, and we were so in love, when he come back to his hometown, we contact each other everyday telling each other how much we miss being together and everything. we managed to survive for about 4 months.

    Now the communication is becoming less and less and last few days, he stopped sending me messages and only send a few each day but we still contact each other like few times in few days. but he no longer says he missed me, or say he wanna kiss me or sweet things like that.
    Honestly I am sad too but I try to think positive. I try to forget him and remind myself that if he still want me he will find me.
    and I stop contacting him for few days, then he texts me and ask me how I’m doing and everything.

    I wonder why he didn’t reply or send me messages out of sudden and when I stop contacting him, he start to contact me again. I know he’s always busy with his hobbies and works (which he always explain to me previously)

    Now I’m really confuse if he want me or not, i wonder if he still love me.

    • justbarbara 26/09/2012 at 11:16 am #

      If he is cheating – say bye bye to him. You don’t deserve it. Nobody does. The communication is becoming less as he has someone new. He is keeping you like a back-up option until the new relationship he formed WHILE with you falls through..he will run to you as soon as things go wrong with this new lady. WHY would you want to go back with him EVEN IF if still love him?? he will cheat on you again and again as he knows he can get away with it. He needs to regain your trust WHICH he decided to break. Trust is a privilege we give to someone – do not give it to him so easily anymore. I know you are really sad. I think you need to forget all of this…all of it. Let it go. Change his name in your phone to cheater and that way you don’t pick his calls if he rings. It does oddily work! Don’t reply to him. Make him see that you are not his doormat he can walk all over when it suits him. You say you are confused as to whether he wants you or not and you wonder if he still loves you….darling I am sure he does have feelings for you but they are possibly not as intense as the feelings you have for him. That is why its in your best interested to let go of all this and move on…why let someone play with your feelings which he obviously is doing and is throwing you a crumb of attention here and there when it suits him. He is playing you and you don’t deserve that…I think if you got rid of him in your mind altogether you might end up WAY happier…but what you decide is obviously up to you …but personally I would get rid – why take him back either?? he might cheat you again…and if you were to take him back he would need to prove that he has changed and regain your trust…which could end up taking years.

  3. Bertha amondi 14/09/2012 at 4:32 pm #

    Its true

  4. jesie 19/09/2012 at 3:44 pm #

    my nam is not showing alot of these signs…. we r to get married in march of 13 and latley he has been drinking alot and yelling at me bec im the reason our financial situation is low but he suprised me with a truck bec my car had died…. he is also a farmer and its harvest time ….. do u think he is just over stressed or what do u think

    • justbarbara 26/09/2012 at 10:58 am #

      First of all do not marry this man if he is yelling at you. That is not fair to you. He is also drinking and blaming you for the couple’s lack of finance. Is it possible he is blowing the money away from all his drinking and therefore the problem is not you but him??! YET he is blaming you as its easier to do that rather than to take responsibility for his own actions??! Your car died. It happens – okay so it prob cost loads and he prob doesn’t have enough now for the wedding and hence the stress and then drinking etc. so why not postpone it until you do have the money and secondly, why not more importantly work out how you interact with each other first. No woman should put up with a man who yells at her. Cut him off now. Do not marry him until he gives you a proper apology and even then how can you be so sure he is not going to do this again?? I would take a time out from this relationship because my fear is that with his drinking and yelling he could lead to hitting you and I would fear that more. So don’t rush this…get out and let him work to get you back…cos he should not be doing this to you..this is supposed to be the best day of your life not the worst…so why marry him until he tries to make it so!!! hope I have helped!! and good luck to whatever you decide to do..

  5. accel 24/09/2012 at 8:50 am #

    I’d be angry if anyone sat on the coach.

  6. Iris 25/09/2012 at 10:56 am #

    Alot of these cases seem evident that there is something wrong, but what about more subtle changes? I dont feel like my man is cheating but more like he has fallen out fo love with me and simply “accepts” the relationship.

    We’re always together, he doesnt try to go out and hang with buddies. We dont spend time together, we are doing our own thing in separate rooms of the house. We sleep in the same bed but on opposite sides (his feet to my head). He rarely says he loves me unless prompted. He doesnt flirt with girls in my face but goes oogle them in my presence. Sex is close to nil and (can I be frank?) very impersonal. He does say things like my weight has turned him off but what he doesnt understand is comments like that throw a person deeper into depression. Oh and yes – Ive put on some weight but Im not atrocious by any means. Everything is my fault or Im overreacting. When it comes to friends – they essentially have to pass his approval – which I just wont stand for so I basically dont have any close friends. If I try to be affectionate he shrugs it away – sometimes very rudely and even if its clear my feelings ar hurt, it doesnt seem to matter to him. We dont fight but I just dont sense a closeness. I mean – I know he wont let anything bad happen to me but at what cost. Should I be moving on or am I really ungrateful? Am I expecting too much?

    I dont understand this behavior. Is this what happens eventually? We’re not married – in fact we’ve been together for years. He has no desire to marry. This is not how I imagined it.

    May all you ladies out there find some rest in your relationship woes

    • justbarbara 26/09/2012 at 10:50 am #

      I am so so sorry you are going through this – hugs. I had written a huge reply and WordPress deleted it ugh.

      First of all, the subtle changes I agree may not necessarily be cheating as such. There could be someone in the background that he is interested in but is not sure whether to let you go and be with her since he has invested so much time with you.

      You are not expecting too much at all. Far from it. What you need to know yourself is what is it that you want??? In fact don’t expect anything since he has ‘no desire to marry’ so why stay with him if you actually do want to eventually get married? He is currently wasting your time if marriage is where you want this to go.

      The weight comment was not fair either and you should not put up with it. He also has NO right whatsoever to tell you who you can or can not be friends with. He is trying to control you. His behaviour is totally unjustified too…he is telling you who to be friends with….darling be friends with whoever you want!!! Don’t let him be the boss of you. If you are friends with someone he doesn’t want…what is he going to do??? I hope he does not hit you. I see you are with him for a number of years too. Personally I would cut him off straight away and let him go and do absolutely nothing. If he comes back, then you could work this out but let him work to have your time – don’t always be available on your phone…I am not saying to play games either..I am saying he currently thinks he ‘has you’ and so is neglecting to keep the spark that got you together in the first place alive…cos for now he is using you when it comes to sex…you say its v impersonal…and that makes you feel bad about yourself after right?? so why put up with it…the whole point of being with someone is to feel good about yourself WHILE with them…and to do sex when it suits him well its not fair for any woman to have to deal with or put up with that. I make a bet if you broke up with him and cut him off with no contact he would ask you prob to marry him…NOW if he does that until these other issues like who you are friends with etc are sorted out do not agree to it!! So basically why not try and be different towards him back. I know this will upset you to do as you are obviously a v nice woman..but he is currently making you an option as opposed to a priority so why not make him an option to until he can get off the fence and show to him you mean more to him than just a person he occasionally hooks up with! HUGS. I know this is prob upsetting you and I really don’t want to do that either..I just want to say you are not alone…it happens a lot to women these days. Take a time out for yourself and from him..do stuff you haven’t done while with him – and stop giving him your love so easily and see if that helps to make things more bearable!! Don’t tolerate him if he is not allowing you to be the person you want to be though!! Good luck – hope it works out for you in whatever you decide to do.

    • Linda 13/10/2012 at 5:17 am #

      Iris I am in the same situation. He treats me like crap and we are not married. His behavior is subtle, it doesn’t fit any of the normal cheating signs but he has clearly stepped out on me. I am disabled so I cannot leave no matter what as there is no support when you are disabled and unmarried. I feel trapped, hopeless and helpless. I don’t know what your situation is but if you are able to work start stockpiling money without telling him. Keep it in a separate account and say nothing in case you need to leave. Best of luck to you dear. I am praying for you.

    • Marie 15/11/2012 at 3:09 pm #

      wow!!! this is exactly what I am going through at this moment.. stuck in a loveless relationship for years… (tears)

      • dhee 19/09/2013 at 2:34 pm #

        Men, they,re all the same. They can be so cold like as if they don’t know how to feel. Everyday is like torture. He always denies and when he gets caught he never apologized. But everytime ha wanted me to leave he asked me to stay for the sake of the kids

    • ELF 03/12/2012 at 3:25 pm #

      Same here he moves away when i go to hug him only kisses me when we have sex, its always me that makes the first move, he goes out with
      his friends and this friday he went with his single friends to two single girls home while I was waiting for him he let me down our son down and then told me i was over reacting.

    • Effie 29/07/2013 at 12:05 pm #

      My boyfriend has been the same way.. I started dieting obsessively now hoping he’ll like me again if I’m the 20 pounds lighter I was three years ago when we started dating. He doesnt sleep with his feet to my head but he will often lay with me then leave when I fall asleep or even just start to fall asleep. We have separate blankets even. When I try and touch him he gets defensive. I can lean on him, but if my hands go south or I’m ‘too warm’ he will shrug me off even though it clearly embarrasses me and hurts my feelings. I did catch him sexting a girl once but he said he was sorry to me and hasn’t texted her since. But even still. We have sex maybe once a month if I’m lucky. We didn’t at all this past month. It wasn’t like this at first. I don’t know what I should think or do. He’s a real catch… I don’t want to leave him.. I’ve tried talking to him about it but he just gets mad. I don’t know what to do. If I should just be happy he even stays with me or if there is even someone else out there.

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  8. vicky 26/09/2012 at 9:09 pm #

    my bfwd dnt even cal me. i agre 2 it

    • justbarbara 28/09/2012 at 11:54 am #

      Sorry to hear that Vicky…the more you ignore him I make a bet the more he will call and reach out to you – show an interest. Its sad when it comes down to this. Less is more in this case too.

    • Erica 04/05/2013 at 2:09 am #

      Mine used to be nice to me when we first met then after learning about my previous relationship used it against me to make me feel terrible. but I clung to him, moved in with him and his mom after a few trials I have, she was nice to me too but now she wants me out of the house {long story} even though I contribute to monthly shopping and help out with the bills (its like it dnt count at all), he seems to side with her more times when she shouts at me (even though sometimes he says he wants to move out from her, he always complains when I try to hug him and even to hug him because he is always watching videos on his computer and reading. he gets annoyed at me easily and easily irritable. I don’t think he love me at all. its a one sided love relationship. I am always the one to apologise. I was crying one night for minutes and he totally ignored m, when I told him he really is terrible he said to leave him alone because he was tryin hard not to sympatise with me and that he would have chosen a time to console me. He is so caught up in his own goals that he only starting to think about himself. I can feel it too.

  9. Iris 26/09/2012 at 10:57 pm #

    You confirm alot of what Ive been told – sometimes you need to hear it from someone who doesnt know you. I believe what you say, its alot harder to follow through with. I do love him as he is a good man but yes, he’s “got the milk without having to buy the cow”.

    We’ve been together 16 years. =(
    Thanks for your support.

    • justbarbara 28/09/2012 at 11:53 am #

      Iris – hugs I’m so so sorry you have to deal with this – he may have your love right now but you do have the power to change that if you so wish to. You control who you let into your heart too and if its not working out then why spend any more time hurting yourself with this? I know he has taken up a huge chunk of your life and that is possibly why you are reluctant to go away from this predicament but perhaps a little bit of space from each other could do you both the world of good?? and anyway if its to heal and get better it will come back on its own…that way he is not sure if he ‘has you’ or not so to speak! Anyway whatever happens – am here for you and wish you the best of luck with it <3 xx

      • Marie 15/11/2012 at 3:13 pm #

        that was really sweet @justbarbara.. you are speaking the real truth!!

      • justbarbara 22/11/2012 at 4:54 pm #

        welcome hun :)

    • Marie 15/11/2012 at 3:11 pm #

      so true Iris

    • Marie 15/11/2012 at 3:15 pm #

      Iris you have said everything that I am feeling and going through at this time..been in a(n) relationship with a man for 12yrs, not married, and he’s not even thinking of it..im tired, simply because I know my worth as a woman

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  12. sue 01/10/2012 at 1:35 am #

    what if you have small children together?

    • justbarbara 03/10/2012 at 12:08 pm #

      Don’t panic. Give each other relief – don’t take this as a personal attack on your self-esteem even if it feels that way at times. You can overcome this – just be independent and don’t expect him to stick around. Let him make his own mind up – after all if he wants to be around you guys he will make it his business to do so at the end of the day. Hope that helps!!

  13. Kim Arena 02/10/2012 at 6:57 pm #

    I think my boyfriend of 7 years doesn’t love me anymore. We have a child together and I am a stay at home mother. We constantly always fighting about little things and it drives me crazy I love him so much, I can’t imagine being without him. But he has stopped calling me through out the day and texting if I don’t call or text him first he won’t communicate with me until he gets home and he only says a little and that’s it. He still calls me babe, Hun, love bug ext. Yesterday we got into a huge fight because it was fam day and he went off with his bro the whole day I was very upset since he hasn’t been spending a lot of time with me. So I called him and told him I was upset usually he doesn’t say much but this time he blew up in front of his friends saying he doesn’t want to be around someone that always wants to fight an hes miserable and i asked why hasn’t he said this before because he never shows emotions or says what hes thinking… He said he didn’t know he’s just mad that he works hard for me and my son and I jut complain but I complain about him never communicating with me anymore or wanting to spending time with me but can do it with other people whenever he gets the chance. I asked him why he was still with me and he said its cause he loved me and he has already accepted the fact that I will always try to make him unhappy. But something that hurt me is that when i try to explain why i feel he just yelled over me and passed the phone to his friends as if he didnt care what i had to say. I just feel like he doesn’t understand that I’m home all day with our child and I get bored and sad that I no longer have a life barely any friends and it makes me sad that he rather spend time with other people than me. Well he came home late and slept on the couch and the hasn’t called or texted and I’m just unsure of where I stand or what to say, I don’t want to loose him but I don’t feel like he loves me anymore like he used to. Any advice on what I should do.

    • justbarbara 03/10/2012 at 12:07 pm #

      Kim – I am so so sorry this is happening to you. I think you need to start to try and see by keeping a distance from him for your own well-being and start doing your own thing too. I know this might hurt you to do right now but its within your best interests to give it a shot. Are you guys still doing normal couple things together like going out for a meal or watching a movie together?? Have you done no contact with him?? the more you distance yourself from him the more you will get the answer to these questions you have – I know its really hard to do especially when you have a beautiful child together but you need to let go of these fears you have of losing him. The minute you let go of the fear of losing him then he may or may not fear losing you!! He seems to be leaving you to do all the childcare while he goes out and does his own thing with his friends. That doesn’t sound v fair to you. Does he give you the relief for you to go out and see your friends and do the same thing?? do you have relief / support from the child – like grandparents or a babysitter so that you can do things that you want minus child. I think you both need a time out from each other – then a time out from the child and then see if that brings you guys closer again. Absence does make the heart grow fonder after all. Hugs. Remember this might just be a phase too. All relationships go through love lags so to speak. But its how we overcome these obstacles is all that matters – have you asked him if he still loves you? if so what was his response? or have you both said nothing and secretly harbour some sort of resentment towards each other? Anyway just remember he is still with you and still hanging around on the scene so he must still have some feelings for you and care for you in some way. His feelings may have diminished but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you either. I take it you guys have been going out for a long time too so there is hope this whole situation can do a u-turn so don’t be upsetting yourself but perhaps if you guys try and get the romance back it will come back by itself with time. I think as long as you both don’t fall out of love with each other it has a chance to overcome and survive this trying period. Its normal too to go through these comfortable stages too. I wish you all the best of luck and sincerely hope it works out in the end for you. The less you do in terms of contact the better. I think he may think he ‘has you’ so he is doing less and thinking about himself more. Don’t be always available to pick his calls all the time too and you might even see his behaviour towards you do a u-turn. Try it…see how you like it and if that doesn’t work then don’t panic. Time has a way of healing things – its how we move forward that matters!

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  15. alazia 20/10/2012 at 11:29 am #

    Whenever I call him are conversations never lasthe always says hell call back and never does when I text him he doesn’t reply or will reply weeks later…he just popped up here and there..but when I would see him it wouldn’t seem as anything, like he still likes me but after I see him I won’t here from him in a while

  16. Sierra 24/11/2012 at 3:03 am #

    Well lately he has been texting and talking to his ex on the phone. He just won’t stop and he tells her he loves her but when i ask why he does it he says he doesnt know.

  17. network 04/12/2012 at 5:08 am #

    i dont think my boyfriend of 8 years loves me no more we hav a child with each other cant c my self with out him hes a great guy put we dont sleep in same bad. im really sick and i know he just with me for the kids he talk about my weight and gets mad when i eat to much . he does tell me he loves me like he use to .he use to cry for me now he walk out the door and goes with hes friend .im no angel i put him throw a lot of stuff .i ack him to cum in my room to spend time with me and he wont .he always has excuse .we never have sex and if we do its beace i hav to beg him .and i found him talk to some girl on face book and i told her off and he was so mad he sad he would leave me becase of thisgirl becase it was he sisters friend he care what his family think put not me i hav no family hes all i have and the kids what should i do with out him i can make rent and ill b homless lthis is true life

  18. Elnet 16/12/2012 at 10:55 pm #

    it feels like wen its about sex we are bestfriends but without sex he treats me like im an idiot in front of his friends

    • Ericana 04/05/2013 at 2:17 am #

      That’s horrible, he is not a good boyfriend who cares and love you. I think as a woman you deserve so much better. He is a pig (sorry about the name calling but still)…you need a man that loves and accepts you for you.

  19. Trying_to_figure_it_out 21/12/2012 at 2:44 pm #

    Ladies , we all have our problems. I found out my bf was cheating on me with multiple women (ones he met on a sex website). I found this out believe it or not by gaining access to his phone (GPS) and then i found his online account (by accident). He was livid when i came clean and told him how i found out what he was doing. Am I wrong? I asked him directly numerous times, but never believed what he was telling me becaue his behaviors and actions dictated otherwise, hence the reason for the “minor” stalker-ish behavior. I NEEDED to know. We had decided to try to work things out between us. But not too long ago he began displaying some of the same behaviors. And wouldnt you know it, he is doing the same damn thing. I want to leave, but find myself compelled to stay–out of this stupid thing called loved for him. I know I cant make him love me the way i want him to, but when i ask him if he wants me to leave–if i should go, he replies with a no. But then the very next day, we could be at each others throats. I know it may seem simple what i need to do, but it isnt. I know the house i live in belongs to him, but the problem is that i moved out here to be with him (out of state), I just lost my job, and now i feel completely stuck, and with no place to go. What do i do now?

  20. marie 08/01/2013 at 9:52 am #

    I am being kicked out of HIS house. been together 5 years. i moved to his area to be with him and gave up everything. he has 2 children from his previous marraige. I was only here 2 months and he got a job working away and left me here. comes home on weekends but we have the children evry other weekend and they are not the easiest kids to handle. We have split up many times because of his lack of discipline and them telling me that this is not my house. he earns a lot of money and i don’t see a penny. he saves it all for the childrens future. he never takes me out or buys me anything and i’m expected to cook, clean and help with the kids when they are here, My problem is i let my feelings fester and then i explode and have a go at him. He can’t communicate and tells me to shut up if i have a complaint. we had a huge row a few weeks ago and him and the kids have ignored me and i have had to stay in my bedroom. he now said he has had enough and wants me out of his house. I don’t earn a lot so it’s gonna be tough to rent somewhere on my own. I’m devastated but what can i do.

  21. Maria 11/01/2013 at 9:50 pm #

    Hi :) i think my boyfriend is acting like this exactly but i just don’t know how to live him coz I’ve been trying to live him for 100x bec i think he doesn’t love me anymore and we always get back together by him coming to me and kissing me and i just can’t say no to him coz i really love him lot ! But i can’t stand his behaviur can someone help ? I dnt think he loves me, Plz help me if u can :( thanks:)
    ps: my email for replay mariabalazova@yahoo.co.uk

  22. meme 19/01/2013 at 2:29 am #

    Idk what to do when I live with my boyfriend and we have a daughter together and he has a tagged that says he’s in a complicated relationship and he’s on there for friends and dating. I didn’t know our relationship status was complicated. Don’t know what to do

  23. roxana marquez 08/02/2013 at 6:30 am #

    My man is acting like that

  24. Abby 22/02/2013 at 9:30 am #

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  25. Derick 13/03/2013 at 9:02 pm #

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  26. gift 17/03/2013 at 12:00 am #

    I feel m nt been loved

  27. aleisha 27/03/2013 at 8:33 am #

    I was married to a man for 11 yrs. For the first 4 or 5 yrs i thought everything was okay. Until my world came dwn i found he was doing the most behind my back he was using drugs, cheating on me. And the day came that i confronted him about this. He said I’m crazy I’m tripping she only a friend but i knew better. Still in all i let him back in my life then the way he started treating was sad we can sit right next to each other and wouldn’t say a word fir hours. He text other women in front of me but lie when i ask him who is he talking to. The only time we even touch each other is when we are about to have sex and even that wasn’t cool at all. I thought to myself i was going crazy so when i start seeing that he would go out and even to store thing we used to do together we stop he won’t take me anywhere with him and i knew it had to be another woman so i started collecting my evident together i bug my car i waited until he went to sleep n look in his phone that’s when i knew it was time to leave his a@@ alone. I tried to talk to him about it but it was always the wrong time or he just didn’t want to talk at all so one day while he’s at work i packed the kids n house n left. It was hard but i knew in my heart he didn’t love me anymore n i was hurting myself by stayin even for the kids it wasn’t going to right all we was doin infront of ppl was playin house and it was all a lie. It took 11yrs n 2 kids but lessons well learned

  28. samantha williams 30/03/2013 at 6:16 pm #

    since i met my husband he has been strange but when we first got together he was loving and flirty but once we got married he changed we lost two kids and thats when the fights started and even now that we have a son we still fight when my son was 6 months old i fiund a porno on my husbands computer that was made and downloaded while i was pregnant with our son and i asked him about it he said it was a friends and got deffensive he never spends time with us he is always with his friends iam 19 years old with a 11 months old i gave up my teen years for him for the promise he would always be here but now it just feels like he doesnt care anymore even guy friends say the way they see him act twards me looks like he doesnt care but i dont want him to take my son from me what should i do

  29. Christine 28/04/2013 at 3:24 pm #

    I see a lot of these signs in my husband, but more it’s the subtle signs I notice. I don’t think he is cheating but you never know. More for us it’s the lack of communication and the lack of help from him. We used to talk about how each other’s days went and now we don’t talk unless we are arguing. He comes home makes dinner and sits on his laptop with the headphones in watching tv or movies until I go to bed. I am 8 months pregnant and my daughter is 2 so when she falls asleep I have to carry her upstairs and put her to bed. If I ask him for any help at all he gets really mean and rude and says I don’t deserve it and I don’t need it. He says I don’t do anything around the house anymore but being a stay at home mom all I do is clean and do laundry and take care of our daughter. we got into a arguement yesterday the worst one in a while, and he told me I always thought I’d love my wife. I was adopted as a baby and have found my birth family. My biological brother is in jail and I can’t afford for him to call me so we write letters. My son from a previous relationship 10 years ago is also in jail and we send him letters and pictures. Now I can’t write even my brother without being accused of writing my son’s dad. It’s not like I am writing him for me it’s for my son who is 8. He’s been watching the stamps and if one gets used to write my brother he gets really angry and accused me of writing my sons dad and insits he sees the letter I didn’t write. Apparently the other day I got a letter for my son from his dad but it was not given to me along with my regular mail yet somehow I have it cus he can’t find it. I don’t understand where all the mean and hurtful comments are coming from or his accusing behavior are coming from esp when he never talks to me other than to fight or complain about something. Or why it’s so hard for him to help me with his own daughter. he used to be loving, and kind, and go out of his way to talk to me and do nice things and none of it seems to happen anymore on a regular basis if at all. I don’t know what to do or think anymore.

    • Anna 08/08/2013 at 11:41 pm #

      Hi barbara everyone is different i dont think we can judge everyone with all of these signs my friends husban loves my friend dearly and he told her to lose some weight doesnt mean hes not in love with her they are happily married

      • justbarbara 22/08/2013 at 11:54 am #

        yes you are thankfully right – everyone is different – this is just written in general…that is not to say that people are all the same but its just a pattern to watch out for.

  30. Hehatesme 17/05/2013 at 11:34 am #

    I enjoyed reading every comment.i can pick lesson to life

  31. Elizabeth 25/05/2013 at 11:23 pm #

    My fiance got caught in my neighbors shed with my stepsister and then he left me to go to the army and told me that he will be back home bt he never came back does this mean he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and he hasn’t called me in 3 days. When ever i call him he doesn’t want to talk to me

    • Elizabeth 25/05/2013 at 11:29 pm #

      Please help me out

  32. Natu 27/05/2013 at 5:20 pm #

    is it normal…asking my bf if its ok for me to come over..and he says no (bluntly)…reason being hes having a bad day and want to be alone (yet hes in his friends house)..this is just 0.001% of our many problems. leave? ive tried. its really hard. cus i love him.
    most people on this thread have had long relationships. im in a relationship for a year and 7 months. n i feel like ive been through many years of marriage (i mean the ugly part..). sometimes i feel like im expecting too much.

  33. Effie-genia Gia Bottas 31/05/2013 at 6:03 am #

    I don’t think it’s completely about loss of love or respect-if he’s shouting at you, this borderline abusive behavior-he’s starting to show his true colors and once the haze of lust wears off she’s able to see the real him-he’s a fkn a hole lol

  34. Audrey 07/06/2013 at 11:03 pm #

    I need help! Please give me some advice! I am so depressed.

    My man does not necessarily have any of these signs, but I have no friends any more since he has to approve them, I cut off the contact with two-three friends since I got together with him. I stopped wearing make up because he thinks that is something only single ladies does and I also stopped wearing any clothes that reveals arms or any cleavage. He calls me vain for wanting to wear make up and to be able to wear anything I want… eventhough I only want to wear innocent looking long skirts and dresses – not even shorts. Anyways, he is from one of the Balkan countries. Our first five months of our relationship, I was called a liar and a “whore with a past” because I hadn´t said that I had basically showed my chest to another guy before him and had been flirty with guys before him – guys that approached me not the other way around. Anyways, he found out about my “past” after we had sex, the sick part is that I felt pressured into having sex and loose my virignity to him, he called me medieval and even promised me to keep it or he said everything would be ruined (claiming I could not keep a promise). He also said I had a past because I had gone to three parties with girlfriends outside school and something purely schoolrelated.

    Note: he is approximately 4 years younger than me and he had sex with four girls before me, all of them younger than me (his age) and white. He said I was a liar because I had not told him everything about my past before him, since he found out about that one month after we had sex the first time. He also said today that a guy cares about a girl´s past and that I can´t compare his past with mine and claim that I have no past. I was a virgin before him.

    Anyways, he said abusive words like “whore”, “slut” and bashed on me because of my past for 5 months after a certain event (a certain date when I had broken off with him almost sucessfully by partying with guys and girls). He claimed I lied about not taking any ones number eventhough my phone showed no trace of any contact with any guy from that day and even my facebook which he occasionally wants to see. He also becomes mad if I forget to tell him if someone contacted me (like any girlfriend that he hates that is liberal and parties).

    I have become really tired of him and I constantly bash on him everyday, he keeps crying all the time. I tell him that I cannot forgive him for treating me like crap but I also find it difficult to break up with him since he comes and visits my home (I live with my family). I know I have no excuse, but I feel like bashing on him until I stop loving him, but that is perhaps an immature way to handle the sitatuion.

    Is it really possible for a guy like him to have a long-term relationship if he criticizes and calls a girl really bad stuff like “whore”, “slut” etc? I should not worry about him finding a better girl than me if I break up with him?


  35. Queen 13/06/2013 at 2:58 pm #

    I’m 19 nd my boyfriend is 33 he stays out don’t come home tells me I to much acne I need to got the gym??? I’m 5’0 nod weigh 110 I’m far from fat size 8 plus I have other man tell me my shape and all is beautiful but him but its like don’t nothin matters anymore he lets his 9 yr old son disrespect me he don’t do nothin but threaten which is pointless but I’ve been hurt so much from having to raise my two children alone…I’m havin trouble accepting this I’m still callin him leavin messages he Neva answers or his phone is always dyin he often tells me that he can’t be around my kids all the time… Does someone have any advice to get over this I’ve tried everything but I just can’t stop cryin nod wishin that we would work.

  36. Teesha 13/07/2013 at 1:37 am #

    My boyfriend is changing dramatically. W’eve been together for 3 years and I have to say the relationship was great. Now, we are never together, I see him mabye 2 to 3 hours a day, he never invites me to go anywhere with him and he always breaks his promises. I am a very forgiving person but he seems to be taking that to his advantage at times. Everytime i try to explain to him what I see changing in him, he isn’t interested or just tells me that I’m crazy, he never wants to know my opinion on things and he doesn’t show much effection towards my feelings. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t have much friends because they don’t meet his approval, if I’m talking to a guy in person or over Facebook, he gets angry with me and accuses me of cheating or flirting… I give him no reason not to trust me, but when I ask him if he is cheating on me, he gets very defensive about it. I don’t want to beleive that he is cheating on me and I don’t want to beleive that he’s falling out of love with me, but all of this is very confusing and my feelings are confusing me at this point. Am i wasting my time???

  37. emerald 16/07/2013 at 1:41 am #

    i have this long distance relatioship for 3 months and during those 3 months we do everyday, text, fb, chat skype. but we do have fights and we settle it though. then he go on vacation for a week on the first 3days he still text but on the following day i saw his skype online but he didnt chat me,, so i ask who is he chatting to..but he said he just leave his phone open that is why i saw him online..but i told him before it was offline then suddenly become online so meaning he didnt leave his phone online…so i told him its OK if he has someone chatting already,, then he replied OK.. OK also…then i text again he cant answer my question coz i found him cheating me….then after that no more text from him for 3 days….then when he returns back home…i text him hows he and hows the vacation…but he didnt replied..then at night i saw his skype online..so i chat him asking the same question but he suddenly goes offline..so my questions is why he cant talk to me and tell me he doesnt love me anymore…why his behavior like that which he is not used to…this is the FIRST TIME HAPPENED to us…so what should i do. i love this man..i know and felt before he loves me so much too why suddenly he changed? pls advice. thanks a lot.

  38. thursday night nfl football odds 19/07/2013 at 1:41 pm #

    This website was… how do you say it? Relevant!
    ! Finally I’ve found something that helped me. Kudos!

  39. Christine 07/08/2013 at 10:11 pm #

    Wow! I always thought i was the only one who is going through this, thank you ladies for sharing, my man never tells me that he loves me he always complain about small things. He just ignore me like i dont exist, when it comes to sex, he just wait till im asleep then wake me up and do whatever he wants. I am sure this man doesn’t love me anymore, i dnt know why im still doing here

  40. Immi 14/08/2013 at 9:46 am #

    Im 15 (almost 16) and ive had the same boyfriend on and off for seven months, but everytime we break up, he was the one who wanted to get back with me. But the last week and a bit hes been acting very different. sometimes he’ll see me standing there at school, but he’ll walk straight past me like im not there. he’s barely affectionate towards me. the only time we cuddle is at the end of school. he barely talks to me after school as well, and hes told me that he’s been playing his xbox a lot, but im thinking its a cover up. he does play fight with me and walks me home sometimes, and he does say i love you, but recently he hasnt been. what do you think? ive cried so much about it, but i dont know what i should do :(

  41. diana 22/08/2013 at 2:30 pm #

    Hi my name is diana.
    Hi my question is I been whit my boyfriend for the past 4 years of relationship and now we have been living 2 years together. he have always work 2 jobs and at first he would call ne text wanted to spend time whit me. even thought he work 2 jobs now for the past 6months he doesn’t call me he dont text me he barely tells me he loves me and honestly i have talk to him how he been acting. He is a quiet guys he doesn’t have friends meaning he doesn’t go out so I am not worry if he doesn’t have another lady. My question I thinkhe ddoesn’t love

  42. Lee Marco 28/08/2013 at 12:08 pm #

    Hey y’all, am a guy and i just got to this site for my first time, accidentally and i have read everything i could see here. I am currently into a one year and eight months old relationship. I think i love this girl very much but i now find it difficult to smile genuinely at her and be nice to her for a sustainable period of time coz i find my thoughts stalking into some past happenings that made me look at her like “any ordinary bitch” out there.. Once at 11pm when we were cuddling in bed to sleep, she received a call which she woke up n went a distance in the room to answer, at the end of the call she took the time to change the caller’s name and replace it with the name of some more familiar person to dissimilate my negative thoughts but curiosity took hold of me and i accessed her call log details and discovered that the caller wasn’t who she made me think it was. I brought it up the next morning and she explained and explained and i believed her. I was frightened at her cunningness, an innocent girl wouldn’t have such wit.. Months later she entertained her ex boyfriend in the town where she attends school, knowing fully well that i had forbidden her from entertaining any relation whatsoever with her ex boyfriend. With time i discovered a chat in her phone with her brother telling him about the period when she was seeing her ex. There was no evidence of sex with him anywhere but i was hurt. I know i intruded into her “privacy” maybe, but my instinct led me there. She apologozed convincingly and told me her story of what happened but those things remained encrusted in my heart. Now i occasionally have the nasty feeling cross my mind that she’s with me because am the only son in a wealthy family in an African setting. Her behaviour towards me portrays love with all the sacrifices and all but i find it hard to be happy with her without thinking far and getting cold for a long while and it hurts her that i have changed but it’s as a result of such incidents i find it hard to trust her. But i do love her and i show it as much as i can. This story may make some of you understand the other side of the coin.. God bless y’all..

  43. Rita 22/09/2013 at 9:34 pm #

    My hubby walked out one me 6 yrs ago after 34 yrs. of marriage. Nobody else involved either side. He just simply got fed up with family life and responsibilities. We talk to each other and he will help me any time I need help, but after this experience I will never ever trust a man again. I have been good to him and his exit has caused me a massive trauma to the extent that I ended up having a malignant cancerous tumor removed recently. The doc. said most tumors are caused by stress. I have my grown up children with me, my job, and some friends. I don’t need a man to make me complete, although if a nice caring and most of all sincere gent came my way I wouldn’t say “no”. One day maybe, but I won’t be making too much effort to find him. So, all you ladies out there….get a life by keeping yourselves busy, get involved with local activities/sport/dancing. Take care of yourselves and don’t worry about finding a man.

  44. mayra veronica forum 26/09/2013 at 7:32 am #

    Hello, Neat post. There is an issue with your website
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    • justbarbara 26/09/2013 at 1:16 pm #

      Thank you to let me know will see what I can do!

  45. stella kyes 19/10/2013 at 3:16 pm #

    Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony.My husband breakup with me 2 months ago after (8) years of marriage just because he met another woman in his working place and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web for help, i saw a post on how this spell caster Dr Kasee on this email onimalovespell@gmail.com,on how he have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply and explain my problems to him to his email and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back from the wicked woman who took him away from me and after 3 days my husband come back to me.I believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr. Kasee. His email: onimalovespell@gmail.com

  46. ruthee 01/11/2013 at 2:17 pm #

    Thanks.. My boyfriend does 9 and 10 of the signs… Please what do I do?, the relationship has lasted for 4 years.

    • justbarbara 13/11/2013 at 4:44 pm #

      First of all its probably best not to panic. This can be fixed too. Do not lose hope even if things feel bleak right now. Maybe keep your distance from him and get busy doing other things and let him come to you? what do you think?? see if that helps him do less of the pointers listed!

  47. katy 03/11/2013 at 5:05 am #

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years we have a 21 month old son. he left while i was pregnant. Me being to kind hearted let him back in my life. Well here lately he has been talking to his ex and she been send him pictures, he Is getting where he don’t even look at me. we went from making love every day to Maybe twice a month. I’m so confused I don’t know What to do.

    • justbarbara 13/11/2013 at 4:41 pm #

      I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I think sometimes as hard as it is its better to walk away and not put up with this. I know you have a beautiful son together and this can be fixed and re-established over time but if he is showing all his interest in his ex and clearly not even giving you any attention anymore he should not give you the false hope of a union if he wants someone else. Perhaps if you take a break from him – he will take notice and then want you back. Why put up with this just for the sake of your son. He is not treating you right and you know it in your heart. You can always make arrangements with him to see your son and whatever you do say nothing bad of him to your child. Give it time and he might do a full 180 degrees when he realizes you won’t tolerate being falsely lead on. I wish you all the best. Don’t worry it will get better and everything will be okay – just stay strong for your little boy! take no notice of this if you can and distract yourself from it all. Make sure he gives you child support at the v least.

  48. genevieve umeh 09/11/2013 at 6:50 am #

    My man doesn’t call me like he used to and wen we met each other he was so madly in love with me that he almost calls 10times in a day and we do chat long. But then I notice he wasn’t free discussing with me like he was afraid but these days he may sometimes call once or twice though still long conversation and still calls me the pet names but I feel tynz changing though he always complain of being busy and do apologize. What should I do.

    • justbarbara 13/11/2013 at 4:38 pm #

      I am sorry that is happening to you. Try not to take it personally and don’t blame yourself for their shift in behaviour. Perhaps you are simply over the honeymoon phase. Maybe if you also start to get busy too – be less available and say the same as himself he might take notice of this and start to chase you down a bit more if that is what you want. Give it time either way and I am sure he will come around.

  49. Blenda Park 30/11/2013 at 9:27 pm #

    I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr. Shiva for helping me to get my boyfriend back after he left me 4 months ago. I have sent friends and my brothers to beg him for me but he refused and said that its over between us but when I met this Dr. Shiva he told me to relaxed that every thing will be fine and really after 2 days my boyfriend come back to me and beg me to forgive him.Just in case anybody need his help email him at: reunitingexspell@yahoo. com

  50. Missy 01/12/2013 at 6:07 am #


    I am in similar situation and i dont know what to do. When he meet me i told him that i am not ready for relationship because i just came out from one, and i was hurt, he wrote me latters and CDs, he was just wonderfull. Then i mada a mistake and since then for 7 months he cannot let it go, i never cheatec i was not so emotional, its been a rought time for me, and now, he doesnt call he is always busy, when he writes me messages they are so fact, and fact. Then their is cultural difference there i am bosnian he is american ( i am white, he is black) I told him so many times how i feel and that he is hurting me, he said that i deserve more for something that its really not my fault but he is blaming me for it,. I really need advice, and what to do. of course he doesnt write anything, and he deleted me from the facebook for something i asked me for.

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