How to move on..

20 Mar

moving on..

I have been doing a lot of reading as of late and wanted to share some wacky
thoughts with you about how you can move on after a breakup. I don’t want
to upset anybody and if I do, I am sorry but I mean well.. I hope this helps.

If you have been dumped or either you dumped the person you are with –
whatever the case may be, try not to beat yourself up too much. I know
its hard but you must not wallow too much in self-pity as this will end
up having a horrible negative impact on your health..Its normal to wallow
in a bit of self-pity after all you are mourning the death of a relationship
you loved. Give yourself time to get over the initial shock.

Here are the ugly facts.. however its is imperative that you STAY POSITIVE


If it was a particularly bad breakup – you were most likely dumped like a
piece of vomit, maybe out of the blue, maybe you saw it coming, either
way you may have had little suspicions along the way..

Bottom line:
you feel like rubbish and no amount of tralling the internet is working
but you must keep busy for your own well-being.
Preoccupy yourself with projects – do something you meant to do but
had been perhaps postponing. Go to the cinema – whatever – get your
life you remember when you were a happy go lucky teenager
(I am not saying to be like a teenager) but you can move on..just believe
in it first. You can only help yourself. You can’t help the
person who rejected you nor can you force them to change their mind. It
has to come from them, they must make the first move on you if they want
to get back and all you can do is let time decide the outcome. Life is not
nice – it is about survival so for now you must survive this
and YOU CAN but its upto YOU to make it happen.

Anyway to continue on with the story, so to feel a bit better you went
off to all your friends cos you were upset and vented off your steam
and all of your friends most likely advised you under no circumstances
do not call and basically do the opposite to your feelings
for your own sake…You must give a bit of time as that is what the other
person requested of you. They chose to not want you – they chose
that path. Do not blame yourself at all. It was not your fault. If you go against
their wishes, they will simply run away from you which is prob what you don’t
want but they will do that as they will believe you are not respecting their wishes.

Rule 1: Do not call – give them all the space they need in order to ‘miss you’
If you are always available – how can they miss you – if you are always
mailing, ringing, e-mailing – whatever – how can they miss you when you
are in fact smothering them out..Hide your phone if you have to or remove
the battery!!

Rule 2: Problem is, you can’t see it. So let me make it clearer for you: he/she’s not coming back.
Unless he/she wants to, unless he makes a move, unless he goes OUT of his way
to show this to you. If he gives you the friends line, don’t give it just like that, cos that may
be his way of feeling less guilty for dumping you otherwise known as dumper’s remorse..same
applies to women may I add..

If he does not show any signs of renewed romance which is actually what we always see in the
have got to for your own sanity, wake up and smell the stench. Your life is not like the movies, 5% of cases are the exception. Yes sorry to say, you’re standing on a gigantic pile of crap collected over the years starting from the time you believed in the myth of Cinderella. Didn’t you know? She divorced her prince two months later: they weren’t compatible after all.

Rule 3: There are so many other people who love who you are as a person.
Surround yourself and catch up with your friends. If you really must call, ring them.
Talk to them – just don’t whinge on too much..get it out by all means..but make
sure not to zone yourself into the house and end up piggying out on junk food
to take the pain away. Exercise and good food will help make you slowly happy
again so focus – focus on staying in the present. If you live in the past you
will never ever be happy so chalk it up to experience and move can
do it..its upto you how you want to can either be a miserable donkey
or a happy tiger. I chose the happy tiger..the rest – well that is upto you right??

Rule 4: Allow a minimum of 30 days before any renewed contact. That way you
don’t look needy or desperate. The more you contact them – the more they
will feel that breaking up with you was for the best. So give them what they
want which is NOTHING..take care..B


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