The Break-Up Cycle… and the two options you are left with…

5 Jun

I was scribbling on a piece of paper recently as to what I believe is the natural cycle when things go wrong in a relationship and am going to present you an article that may be of some help…well I hope so…here we go so first am going to present to you what I believe is a normal standard break-up pattern..after that, I will say the two choices you have in terms of what road you can take…so the choice is always yours…and hope you will be okay.

A Normal Break Up Cycle

The Breakup Happens.

Massive Panic.

Chasing, Convincing Or Pleading Starts.

You Neglect Your Life/Job/Friends/Family.

You Talk About Your Ex With Everyone Around You.

Everything Makes You Cry.

You Feel Like A Loser.

You Beat Yourself Up Over The Past Mistakes You Made.

You Desperately Try To Find Out What Your Ex Is Doing.

You Hear Some News About Their New Life.

You Discover They’re Dating Someone Else.

Your Pains Double And Now You Are Worse Than Before.

You Try To Call Your Ex- But Your Ex Still Tries To Avoid You.

And The Process Continues.

Therefore, there are two outcomes here from the cycle. You can either:

1. BE THE VICTIM
2. THE PERSON WHO IS IN CONTROL
(Option 2 is most attractive one to take, no??)

1. The Victim
You Desperately Want Him/Her.

You Try Too Hard To Get Them Back.

They Get An Ego Boost.

They Play Too Hard To Get.

You Get Powerless.

You Push Harder.

They Run Away.

You are usually left in smithereens..poof..and why not rename your ex to Houdini while you are at it! 😉 okay sorry I won’t joke..but that is how you feel right, you know how it is..we have all at some stage of our lives been in that horrible predicament that we simply don’t want to be in…so its upto YOU and YOU alone to get yourself out of the hole that you may have suddenly been catapulted into…not nice I know..BUT you can get over this with time and with a little help from your friends and family, I guess. Remember they are on your side.

If you want your ex back – you have to regain your composure first so here is a starter to-do list – stop all contact and stick to it Do bear in mind that there is a small chance that they may never come back BUT hey when the chips are down its up to YOU and YOU alone to come to terms with this in your own time remember pain is ONLY temporary…anyway here is a to-do list if you want to raise their self-interest and curiousity about you:

2. The Person who is in control

Act As If You Do not Want Him/Her.

Raises Their Level Of Curiosity In You.

They Seek To Know More.

You Play Too Hard To Get.

You Keep The Power.

They Desire You More.

BUT you have to give them what they want even if it goes against the grain of what you want. So if they say I want to break up. Agree. Dont argue. Just accept it. Even if it is the worst thing to ever happen you. Don’t seek their approval – be overly nice on the hope they will want you back by seeing how you are now different…you have to do the OPPOSITE to what you want otherwise YOU lose yourself in this chirade and I doubt you want to do that. Don’t be dependent on your ex. The no contact rule works BUT you just have to force yourself to stick to it. We all develop bad phone habits over time. You have to break the cycle to heal your own wounds. Think of yourself first – FOR ONCE…and take care..eat well..don’t mope..and soon you will be happy again. Pain is only temporary.

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