Set your own four boundaries with a man

24 Jun

Apologies readers, I have not had time to update my blog
so here is today’s topic. Setting your own boundaries with
a man is a necessity these days because unfortunately we
need to protect our hearts and heads so if you feel things
are starting to go wrong with your man or maybe its a new
man you have just started seeing..HERE are some boundaries
you might want to take into consideration.

Four Good Boundaries to have:

1.Because you are looking for a man who loves
you, wants you, and wants to commit to you
forever, you will not invest yourself emotionally
in a man until one demonstrates those intentions
concretely, definitely, and in a way that makes
you feel consistently good.

A “rule” for this could be that you will not
call, text, e-mail, or in any way do the work of
the relationship that you want a MAN to do.

In other words, if your boundary is that you
will not put more energy into the relationship
then you are receiving, then your rule would be to
not do the specific things that put too much
energy into the relationship. Things that look
like “chasing” him.

2. Because you’re looking for warmth, intimacy,
affection and connection, you will not invest
yourself in a man who feels cold, withdrawing,
confused about his feelings for you, or who asks
you consistently to give to HIM.

A rule for this would be that if a man steps
away from you physically or emotionally, and by
not contacting you or calling you, you do not step
forward or reach out to him.

That could be as simple as not walking across
the room to give him a hug and a kiss when he’s
acting cold.

This could be as simple as not calling him to
find out how he’s doing and what he’s doing and to
update him on your own life.

3. Because you are looking to feel fantastic
about yourself in the presence of your man, you
will not give your time, energy and love to a man
with whom you feel consistently bad about

A rule for this could be that if he “puts you
down,” or criticizes you, or judges you and
consistently makes you feel off-balance and
insecure and bad about yourself, you will not just
“let that go.”

Your rule could be that when this happens you
speak the truth to him, in Feeling Messages, so
that he knows exactly what’s going on with you…

And another rule could be that when this
happens you simply walk away from him.

4. Because you are looking for lifelong
commitment, you will not allow any man to have an
exclusive claim on your time and energy and love
without that commitment.

Being a “girlfriend” is NOT a lifelong commitment.

So, a rule for this Boundary could be that you
do not accept the label of “girlfriend.”

A rule for this could be that you commit yourself to
Circular Dating so that you are always interacting with
new men wherever you go, learning more about yourself
and how you relate to men, and always have your options
in men open. EVEN IF deep down you don’t want to.

If you particularly feel low right now..fear are
never alone…and well cheer up…keep to the boundaries
and hopefully the next time things will go better! Take Care, B 🙂


2 Responses to “Set your own four boundaries with a man”

  1. joy 17/11/2009 at 7:11 pm #

    that was the truth plane and simple.loved it!

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