Warning signs – how to know when a relationship is on the rocks?

2 Dec

So many of my friends – both men and women write to me about their relationships and utter frustrations – its been a while since I wrote a relationship article on my blog so apologies for that or for anyone who happens to like reading them. So how do you know if your relationship is about to hit the skids…or the slopes so to speak?? what exactly do you look out for?? well look to the list below and see if you any of them match up to your predicament or even your friend’s situation.. This article below may be similar in content to a lady who has written several books called Lisa Daily. Apologies Lisa if I had a crosslap in the content below but it was written just as a personal source for people who read my blog. I have blogrolled you here anyway…

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Below you’ll find the “Unlucky 13” -13 warning signs you’re about to get dumped.

According to many surveyed people online, a variety of experts have found the most common warning signs a person is about to get dumped –including psychologists, body language experts, graphologists, investigators and a divorce attorney. And here’s what they found:

1. Is it romantic Armageddon, or just uncomfortable shoes?

Where the toes point, the heart follows. According to body language expert Patti Wood, MA, CSP, you should, “look at your sweetie’s feet when you are out with other people.” She says, “if they are pointed at you, great.” If they’re pointed at someone else, your partner may be looking to walk.

2. You’re starting to feel like a telemarketer.

Is your sweetie anxious to end phone conversations right away? A person who knows he’s going to end the relationship with you, but hasn’t done so yet will be itching to get off the phone with you. If he is talking to you, but not adding anything to the conversation it’s sign he is heading towards the finish line. He’s probably just pacing himself.

3. He’s no longer interested in sex, or worse, he has a new bag of tricks and a trapeze with the tags still on it.

A dramatic change in sexual behaviour can mean two things:

a) He wants to avoid any situation where he might have to express emotion or attachment to you, or

b) He’s getting it somewhere else.

4. He avoids talking about the future.

We’re not just talking the general, garden-variety aversion that men have to discussing relationships. We’re talking about a man who avoids having one of those “we have to talk” talks like it’s a shot of the Plague. As for the future, when next Thursday seems like too much of a commitment, it could be because he’s trying to extricate himself by Wednesday night.

5. He says, “I need some space” or “I think we should see other people.”

According to psychologist Jesse Rabinowitz, PhD, people don’t usually want to hurt someone else, so they use “exit strategies.” By telling you he wants to see other people, he’s not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene to endure) but he’s given himself a way out. Of course, the second he gets a little distance, he’s going to make a run for it.

6. If he’s looking left, something’s not right.

According to Bill Raduenz, private investigator, a person who looks up into the air and to the left when he speaks to you is “not being truthful.” The look left is an indication we’re using the “creative” side of our brains and a good indicator he’s telling you a whopper.

7. He gives you that little pat on the back.

Watch out for this one. A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uneasy. According to Raduenz, the “hand pat” on the back indicates someone is uncomfortable with what they’re doing. The bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel.

8. You don’t like what you see in the mirror.

People mirror each other’s body language when they are in love with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. If you’re noticing the two of you are out of sync, you probably are.

9. You see the writing on the wall.

According to graphologist Karen Weinberg, QDE, a person who is thinking of ending a relationship will show clues in his handwriting. When writing the word “love” he may begin to drop down the letter “e.” Another sign to watch for is if your partner diminishes the size of your name (sign of your importance to him.)

10. Every normal person should know which way the toilet paper goes…

If he’s picking silly fights, or there’s an unusual increase in emotional distance, you’ve got bad news.

According to Melvyn Frumkes, an attorney specializing in divorce, “a person who picks nonsensical arguments is trying to get the other person (you) to make the first move.”

11. He keeps you waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

“Time is an important non-verbal communicator,” says Wood. If he keeps you waiting, it’s a sign his interest is waning, and a sign of disrespect.

This is true for dates as well. If he starts waiting until the very last minute to make date plans with you, it’s likely he’s lost interest, or he’s hoping something better will come along and he’s using you as a back-up.

12. He buys a personal pager, or a pre-paid cell phone.

This is bad news. Just about every private investigator in the book will tell you the pager purchase is a sign of impending heartbreak. Sure, it could be for work, but more likely, he’s using it to get a head start on his post-you life. Beep Beep – Bye Bye.

13. He used to be a three-blue-shirts-and-four-pair-of-Chinos kind of guy, and suddenly he’s obsessed with Armani.

According to Frumkes, a person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take greater care with his appearance – updating his wardrobe, losing weight, working out and even changing cologne. If your sweetie looks like he just finished taping an episode of “A Makeover Story” – Those Chinos might not be the only dud he’s looking to lose.

Want to know when you’re most likely to get the axe? Most experts agree it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of the first 3-5 months. So, stock up on tissues and Ben & Jerry’s if you’re heading into the danger zone.

Only time (and his shoes) will tell.
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Other than all that, if you feel you are in this position at the moment, don’t panic or despair, remain calm and remember not to lose yourself in all the drama! Take Care and have a nice day…B

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